Levi is very excited about the prospect of turning five in July--although that might as well be the next century as far as he's concerned. Levi also has this annoying habit of climbing into bed with us every single night and then digging his feet under my back (no matter how warmly he's dressed), heaving himself on top of Stupid Daddy, and just generally fucking up our sleep.
So last week I decided to tell him that he couldn't turn five until he stayed in his own bed. And he totally fell for it! But he still gets into bed with us every night.
And lately, both boys have been asking me to feel how strong they are. Ezra actually flexes his biceps, but Levi just holds his arms in that position and I have to pretend that what I'm squeezing doesn't feel like cottage cheese. And they talk a lot about how eating good foods makes you stronger, and how exercise makes you stronger, and drinking milk makes you stronger--some propaganda campaign they're getting at their schools, I guess.
Tonight in the bath, after a very challenging hour of getting them home and fed, they started up with the muscle routine again: "Feel how strong I am, Mommy," and, "Feel this muscle!"
In a moment of inspiration, and with a knowing twinkle in my eye, I told them, "Did you guys know that following my instructions helps your muscles grow? Yup, it's true. Every time you pay attention and do what you're told, your muscles get a little bit stronger."
And they kind of looked at me like, Huh, okay, good to know. But getting them out of the bath and dressed and into bed wasn't the slightest bit easier.
So, in sum, honesty may be the best policy after all. Combined with a good spanking.